Be a Student of Your Children

Now you may be looking at the title of this blog entry and thinking, "Be a student of your children? Aren't my children the students?" Yes, they are the students in many ways. They look up to you to teach them everything from how to eat to how to walk to how to read to how to drive a car. But, I believe we are also to be students of our children.

One of the most quoted verses when it comes to parenting is Proverbs 22:6 - Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Upon further study of that verse, I have learned 2 things:
1) It is a principle, not a promise, and
2) It doesn't just mean to train them up in the LORD (which is the most important thing), but it also means to train them up in their special and specific callings and giftings from God.

What I mean by it being a principle and not a promise is that we do not have a 100% guarantee that if we train them up in the LORD that they will always follow Him. That in no way means that we should not train them up in the LORD (see Deut 6:4-9 and Eph 6:4).

Again, we should train them up in the LORD, but we also need to train them up in their special callings and giftings from God. How do we know what those specific callings and giftings are? By being a student of our children. This means that we are actively involved in their lives and watching to see their God-given bents, interests, gifts, and callings. If we see that our child shows more interest in history than math, we should help them look into a path that involves history (ie teacher, lawyer, politician) and not push them into engineering just because we are an engineer and think it is the best career ever. If we see that our child is more into music than athletics, we should encourage and equip them in music and not push them into football just because we are a die-hard NFL fan. These are simple examples, but so many parents make goals for their children that have nothing to do with each individual child.

Be a student of your children and train them up in the LORD and in the bents, interests, gifts, and callings He has given them, and when they are old, they will not depart from it.

A Family Mission Statement

For years I have been hearing about creating a family mission statement. It always intrigued me because I am all about trying to find a focus for what I am doing and keeping my eyes on that. Anyone who knows me knows that I love acronyms. I prayed about this for a long time and decided that I wanted to use our last name, Webber, to create our mission statement using the letters in our name. I sat down and wrote every verb that I could think of that started with those letters that sounded like it would go along with something that could be a core value of our mission.

Wait, Walk
Educate, Encourage, Enjoy, Enter, Examine, Expect, Extend
Behave, Believe, Bless
Radiate, Raise, Rejoice, Remember, Reproduce, Remember, Rest

Then, I narrowed them down to these:
Walk with God
Enjoy and Examine God's Word
Believe that God Can Do the Impossible
Behave Like a Christian
Enter His Gates with Thanksgiving
Reproduce Other Believers in Jesus

After that, I found Bible verses to be the foundational truths of each part of the mission.

I typed it all up, prettied it all up, and printed out our Webber Family Mission Statement.

I am sharing it with you in hopes that it will motivate you to make yours as well. God Bless!

Life Verses

What is a life verse? A life verse is a verse that you make your foundation for your life. Of course the entire Bible should be our foundation for life, but a life verse is a special word from the Lord that cements your life and your purpose as you follow God throughout your life.

My personal life verse is 2nd Corinthians 12:9 - And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, most gladly I will rather boast in my weaknesses that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

When our first son was on his way, we sat for hours praying and picking out names for him. When we settled on Luke, which I loved because it was from the Bible and meant "bringer of light," his life verse came very easily.

Luke's life verse is Matthew 5:16 - Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father in heaven. 

Our second son's name came very easily. One day I said, "I love the name Nathan," and my husband said, "Me too." It was easy-peasy. Coming up with his life verse didn't come during the pregnancy like it did with Luke's. After the death of his twin sister, each day I would say a verse over him and me.

Nathan's life verse is Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.

Our daughter's name is Alexis Faith, which means "defender of faith." When she passed away, my faith was tested more than any other time in my life so far. We wanted a Bible verse on her headstone, and looking at "faith" in the Bible, the most fitting one became her life verse.

Alexis' life verse is Hebrews 11:1 - Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Our third son's name was the hardest name to figure out. I guess when you have lots of one gender it gets harder. Once we unanimously agreed on Benjamin, I found his life verse pretty easily.

Benjamin's life verse is Deuteronomy 33:12 - Of Benjamin he said: "The beloved of the Lord shall dwell in safety by Him, who shelters him all the day long; and He shall dwell between his shoulders."

I hope this has encouraged you to prayerfully consider a life verse for yourself and/or your children. 

I would love to hear yours. :) 

The 3 Rs of Homeschooling (Not What You Are Thinking)

This year starts our 10th year of homeschooling (not counting what we did before Kindergarten). In a decade of home educating, I would like to think I've learned a few things along with my kiddos. LOL! Lately, God has really put it on my heart to focus on the 3 Rs of homeschooling.
It's not what you are thinking.

The 3 Rs of Homeschooling:

1) Relationships 

    Other than God calling me to homeschooling, which was reason enough, one of the biggest reasons
    we started homeschooling and continue homeschooling is to build relationships, both vertical and
    horizontal. In the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, and Luke, we see The Great Commandment:

    "Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?”
    Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul,
    and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. 
    And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 
    On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.” 
    (Matthew 22:36-40)

    Then one of the scribes came, and having heard them reasoning together, 
    perceiving that He had answered them well, asked Him,
    “Which is the first commandment of all?”
    Jesus answered him, “The first of all the commandments is: 
    ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. 
    And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind,
    and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment. 
    And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’
    There is no other commandment greater than these.”
    (Mark 12:28-31)

    So he answered and said, “ ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart,
    with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind,’ and ‘your neighbor as yourself.’ ”
    (Luke 10:27)

    This actually isn't just in the New Testament. You can find loving the Lord all throughout the Bible
    especially in The Shema in Deuteronomy 6:4-5:

    “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! 
    You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.

    The part about loving your neighbor as yourself is also in the Old Testament in Leviticus 19:18:

    "But you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord."     

    It is our greatest desire to love God with everything we have and then love others.
    It is our next greatest desire for our kids to love God with everything they have and love others.

2) Rhythm

    I don't know about you, but I am naturally a person who thrives on structure, routine, and order.
    I love charts, checklists, calendars, planners, and all things that can make me more organized.
    Over the years, I have learned that it is really hard to get not just myself, but my husband, my kids,
    and anyone else to stick to a "at this time we do this" routine.

    Instead, I have been finding that it is better to have a rhythm to our life and our days.
    What does this mean? Well, we wake up, have time to get going for the day, eat breakfast, 
    do some chores, start school, have breaks as needed, have food as needed (LOL), stop for lunch,
    finish up school, have breaks as needed, have food as needed (LOL), have room time, eat dinner,
    have family time, get ready for bed, do family devotions, read books, and go to bed. 

    Having a rhythm keeps everyone from being stressed out about calendars, clocks, time limits, etc.
    It leaves room to breathe and room for flexibility. It's awesome.

3) Responsibility

    As a mom it is super easy to want to do too much for our kids. I am guilty of that myself. 
    I have learned over the years that the more I do for my kids, the less they do for themselves.
    We are working on taking as much responsibility for ourselves as possible. 
    This is not just with our actions, but also with our attitudes and responses to things.

    Obviously a 4-year-old can't clean an entire bathroom by himself, but he can collect towels for the
    laundry. A 9-year-old can't do all of the yardwork by himself, but he can pick up sticks and pull 
    weeds. A 14-year-old can do a lot (even if they don't agree LOL). 

It is my prayer this year that we will build our relationships with the Lord, each other, and others. 
It is my prayer that we will find and maintain a rhythm for our days and this season.
It is my prayer that we will each take responsibility for our tasks and our attitudes.

I hope this has helped. :) 

You Shall Teach Them Diligently To Your Children

 When I became a Christian, the Lord placed in me a strong desire to read His Word every single day. I started out in the book of John learning about who Jesus really was and what He did. Then, I started doing some topical studies on the areas of who I was in Christ, marriage, and parenting. I knew I wanted to be the best Christian, wife, and mom I could be, so I started there. As I was studying Scripture about parenting, this verse popped out at me and was like an audible voice from God telling me how to be a godly parent.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9:
⁴ “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one!
⁵ You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart,
   with all your soul, and with all your strength.
⁶ “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.
⁷ You shall teach them diligently to your children,
   and shall talk of them when you sit in your house,
   when you walk by the way,
   when you lie down, and when you rise up.
⁸ You shall bind them as a sign on your hand,
   and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.
⁹ You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

It was as if I read it and heard it as, “Hear, O Ashley: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.” So, step one was to love the Lord with everything I had and know that He was the only God. Step two was to put God’s Word into my own heart by reading, studying, memorizing, praying, and living it out. So, I set out to make sure I was always doing that. I praise God for the hunger He has given me for His Word. So, love God and His Word. Spend time in His Word every day. You won’t regret it.

Then as I continued, “Ashley, you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.” Step three was to teach my children the Word of God basically 24/7. That meant that God was ever on our hearts and minds and in any situation, we were to teach our children.

How do we do this?
- Set aside time each day to read the Scriptures with our children and talk about what it means
- Set aside time and as things come up throughout the day, pray with our children
- Spend time memorizing the Word of God through programs like AWANA and/or picking out verses to memorize as a family
- Spend time worshiping God each day through music. Turn on worship music around the house or in the car as we drive. So many times, Scripture is laced in the worship music. What a great way to hide God’s Word in our hearts.
- Probably the most important way, is to just be ready and willing to point our children to the Lord anytime and anywhere. For example, when your child has a test they are anxious about, you can pray with them this very simple Scripture: “God, You have not given (insert child’s name) a spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind to do well on their test (2 Tim 1:7). Amen!”

Continuing on, “Ashley, You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” In Jewish history, the Jews took these verses literally and made phylacteries (boxes that contained Scripture) and put them around their hands and head with leather. While this was a unique way to have God’s Word on your hands and in front of your eyes, I believe it is most important to write the Word on your heart and have it readily available to pour out anytime. If you need to write Scripture on your hands, go for it. I also like to put Scripture up all around my house. It is a reminder to all of us when we see it. I encourage you to surround yourself with Scripture.